I think today was pretty productive. I actually did a lot of stuff. I spent eight hours staring at my MacBook tweeting my brain away. I’m pretty sure my highly addictive nature is exactly what the Twitter creators had in mind when they designed the website. Thank goodness I’m no longer on Facebook. I probably would’ve spent four more hours just staring like a zombie at my friends’ status updates. Social networking is my online crack-cocaine.
I watched Egypt and Justin Bieber compete for top trending on Twitter, but the Bieber Meister eventually beat out the celebration going on over the toppling of President Mubarak. Well, former president now. #Congratulations #Egypt #Jan25. And allegedly the authoritarian ruler had amassed (stolen) so much money in twenty years that he had collected $5 billion in his Swiss bank account. That’s an enormously generous severance package. I knew I worked for the wrong company.
You should have read the tweets about Egypt, especially ones sent out by comedians. That @SteveMartinToGo is one real funny guy. I was ROFL reading his 140 character or less lines: “Great news! I am the new President of Egypt! Just call me HoseKnee! Can’t wait to try on the REAL King Tut hat!” and “Mubarak’s dancin’ wear: dress socks, sandals, bag over head.” I mean that’s some witty stuff. I could never come up with such quips even if you gave me ten thousand years to sit down and try. Jwoww! I meant, just wow!
Going back to the Biebs, I had never seen so many grown men fawn over an adolescent young man since, well, Zac Efron and High School Musical. I don’t think Efron got nearly the same amount of attention though. Come on! Even Shaquille O’Neal enthused about Bieber’s biopic Never Say Never. #NSN3D 4ever bb! And Gayle King. Hmm, I wonder what Oprah thinks about her ravings. I’m really inspired and I can’t wait to see the movie when I download a pirated copy of it. I don’t care about the loud screaming audible in the background or the jumping girls that might block the view. I’ll wait in three months until I can download the ripped DVD version. Just like Shaq, I want to be just like Justin Bieber when I grow up. This movie will change my life.
I also listened to Lady Gaga’s new song, Born This Way, and was sorely disappointed. I still love Lady Gaga, but her song reminded me too much of Madonna circa 1990 and not in a good way either. I searched Google if anyone else thought the same. About 100 people agreed and 90 million people were quick to defend their idol. Just search through Twitter and read the comments on Youtube.com. The Little Monsters even posted nasty comments criticizing Madge and her song on one of the Original Pop Queen’s music videos. I think it was her hit song Express Yourself from 1989. God bless her soul. Oh, wait, she’s not dead yet. I was confused when I found out that Madonna was with Jesus. I must have been living under a rock because I had no idea that Madonna is more than 2, 000 years old. Anyway, kids these days just have no respect for their elders.
I must admit that Lady Gaga is Master Imitator. Whenever I see her in photos, she constantly reminds me of Grace Jones. Ok, I don’t really know who Grace Jones is, but I Googled her. I might be nearing thirty but I’m still not that old. And her songs, they always make me think of Madonna. I have to give props to the Fame Monster because she managed to rip off Madonna’s Express Yourself in two songs: her Alejandro video is almost a carbon copy of Madonna’s video and Born This Way is an almost perfect knock off of the song. Now that’s genius. Maybe it’s just me, but Born This Way’s lyrics also remind me of the King of Pop’s Black or White.
I couldn’t forget that fashion week kicked off in New York today, so I looked at pictures of some shows on Style.com. Fashion’s getting super high-tech; some designers streamed their presentations live online. I would never have guessed that Cynthia Rowley would trend on Twitter. I don’t think even Anna Wintour has been top ten. I heard Tumblr scored 25 tickets to coveted fashion shows that it distributed to its bloggers.
I really miss seeing these waiflike teenage models walking back from the tents in Bryant Park. Crap, I forgot that I’ve been abroad for two years, and they moved the shows to Lincoln Center last year. It doesn’t do me any good now that I don’t live on 51st and 9th. I miss getting pushed in line to get my seat assignment (always standing room), my knees buckling in terror from standing amidst these starving fashionistas. I know I get really grouchy when I haven’t eaten. But no worries, I can now check their pictures on the Sartorialist’s blog, not to mention many other replicate websites.
I know my time would’ve been better spent looking for a job, but it’s Friday. Even some working people get to take off Fridays in some offices, so why not give myself a break. Three-day weekend, yeah! Looking for a job is hard enough why not make fun of it.